Dr Sona Kaur, Clinical Psychologist
Christmas may be the season of sparkle, excitement and family togetherness, but for parents of autistic children, it can also bring anxiety, pressure and overwhelm. The sudden changes in routine, the sensory overload, the busy social calendar and the expectation to join in all the festivities can make December feel more draining than joyful.
Parents often describe feeling torn between wanting to create warm Christmas memories, yet worrying about how their child will cope with the noise, unpredictability and stimulation of the season. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Christmas doesn’t have to be something your family simply endures.
Clinical Psychologist Dr Sona Kaur says that with small, thoughtful adjustments, families can create a calmer Christmas that feels meaningful and manageable. Dr Kaur says there are five things you can do to help your autistic child have a gentler, happier festive season.
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Maintain as much routine as possible
Dr Kaur urges parents to “protect the familiar” wherever they can. Regular mealtimes, usual bedtime routines and the small daily anchors your child relies on can make a big difference in a month full of unpredictability. Even if special events are planned, keeping core routines consistent provides emotional safety and helps reduce anxiety.
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Prepare your child for what’s coming
“Preparation is one of the most powerful tools you have,” Dr Kaur says. Autistic children feel more secure when they can anticipate what will happen next. Visual timetables, talking through the plan for the day, visiting venues ahead of time, or explaining who will be there can ease uncertainty, clear expectations, reduce stress and help children feel more in control.
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Build in regular quiet time
Christmas can be relentlessly stimulating with lights, music, visitors, smells, excitement. Dr Kaur explains that autistic children often need intentional downtime to regulate. This might mean retreating to a quiet room, using headphones, cuddling under a weighted blanket or engaging in a calming hobby. “Parents sometimes feel guilty allowing their child to step away,” she says, “but quiet time is not antisocial, it’s essential.”
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Follow your child’s cues, not the clock
Dr Kaur encourages parents to watch for early signs of sensory or emotional overload: covering ears, withdrawing, irritability, pacing, or becoming unusually quiet. “Responding early can prevent a meltdown,” she says. Pausing an activity, offering a break or changing plans entirely is not giving up, it’s meeting your child’s needs before things escalate.
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Set boundaries with extended family
Well-meaning relatives may hope for big gatherings, group photos or long meals, but these traditions can be overwhelming. Dr Kaur says that setting expectations in advance can transform the experience. Let family know if your child may eat separately, open gifts later or take breaks when they need to
Christmas doesn’t need to follow a rigid script. As Dr Kaur reminds parents, choosing a slower, quieter, more predictable festive season isn’t ‘missing out’, it’s tailoring Christmas so your child feels safe, included and able to enjoy it in their own way. By focusing on calm connection rather than pressure, you’re creating the version of Christmas that truly matters