With A-level and GCSE results days approaching, a tutor is urging parents to think carefully about how they react, warning that even well-meaning comments can add to the pressure teenagers are already feeling.
For many young people, opening their exam results is one of the most emotional days of the year. Some will be celebrating, while others may be dealing with disappointment, uncertainty or worry about what comes next.
Lindsey Wright, a physics and maths tutor at TutorsValley, says that although parents naturally want to help, their first response can have a lasting impact on how a teenager copes with the day. She explains that results day isn’t always about finding solutions immediately, and that children often need to know it’s okay to feel disappointed before they can think clearly about their next steps.
Let the emotions settle first
Whether results are better or worse than expected, Wright says it’s important to give teenagers space to take everything in before diving into questions or plans. Some students want to celebrate straight away, while others need quiet time to process, and there’s no single right reaction.
Skip the comparisons
It can be tempting to ask how friends, classmates or siblings have done, but Wright warns this can make a difficult day feel worse. Every student has different strengths, ambitions and challenges, so the focus should stay on the child in front of you.
One set of results doesn’t define a person
Wright believes one of the biggest misconceptions about exams is that they determine someone’s entire future. Grades reflect a handful of exams, not a person’s resilience, kindness or creativity, and while it’s fine to feel disappointed, results aren’t a measure of self-worth.
Explore the options before panicking
If results don’t go to plan, Wright recommends speaking to the school, college or university before assuming the worst. She points to routes like Clearing, resits, alternative courses and apprenticeships as options many families don’t realise are available.
Recognise the effort, not just the grade
Wright also encourages parents to acknowledge the months of work that went into exam preparation, often alongside part-time jobs and other commitments, regardless of the final outcome.
Keep the bigger picture in view
Wright notes she has worked with doctors, engineers and other professionals who didn’t get the grades they originally wanted but still built successful careers via a different path. Her main message to parents: remind your child they’re loved and supported no matter what’s on the piece of paper, because knowing someone is in their corner can make all the difference on an overwhelming day.
