Sat. Oct 5th, 2024

As the exam season ends, many young people will breathe a sigh of relief but others will experience a drop in adrenaline and the depression that follows.  Dr Asha Patel, Clinical Psychologist and CEO of Innovating Minds  offers advice on how families can offer support

You thought that once the exams were over life would return to normal.  Indeed many families will be looking forward to a relaxing holiday or at the very least a release from  the pressures of school, grades and being organised. However, examinations cast a long shadow these days and with a barrage of media attention on the new grading systems it is hard to switch off completely.

Some children will experience intense anxiety about their exams, worrying about their grades and wondering what the year ahead holds if they do not get the marks they need for college, sixth form or university. Here are some pointers to help you cope::

  1. Manage your own expectations. Parents sometimes place a high burden of expectations on their children. Perhaps they want their child to do better academically, have the success they never had or a better standard of living or to be more popular but you cannot live your children’s lives for them.
  2. Encourage your child to take part in local activities. Being part of a community reduces the sense of isolation that many young people feel, especially in the long summer holidays, and the wider their range of interests, the more likely they are to have different groups of friends and a more balanced perspective on life and the problems it throws up.
  3. Take signs of stress seriously and talk about them. Some children will fret about their exam results and let their worries cast a cloud over what should be a happy time. Listen but do not jump in to give advice. Instead, ask them what they can do to make things better for themselves.
  4. Find one thing to praise each day. This is not always easy, especially if they are being moody, rude or upsetting the family dynamic but your role is to build their confidence and it is all too easy to snap or to criticise especially if you find your child unresponsive or unrewarding.
  5. Respect their efforts. It is better to praise your child for their effort, rather than for their success. This helps children develop a ‘growth mindset’ where they will learn to deal with the challenges and setbacks they will face in the course of their life rather than being overwhelmed and feeling that they cannot cope.
  6. Share your own experiences. Young people sometimes see parents as being confident and invincible but it is important that our children see that as human beings we all face challenges, and that these challenges can be helpful in the long term.
  7. The old adage ‘healthy body, healthy mind’ is still relevant today when so many young people spend their leisure hours on tablet, in front of a screen or indoors. Encourage your child to aim for good physical health with a balanced diet and regular exercise.
  8. Suggest good ways that they can comfort themselves. While some children will turn to comfort eating, drugs or alcohol, there are many healthier ‘guilt-free’ options such as listening to music, baths, showers, going for a walk, exercising, engaging in a new activity. Not all strategies will work for your child so keep trying till you both find the ones that do.
  9. Children worry that they will let their families down or that everyone else will be getting A stars while they get mediocre grades. Indeed such is the hype now that children who get a grade B think they are no good at a subject. You can be a sounding board for your child but try not to come out with empty words of comfort. You will not change their mind for them so try listening rather than talking.
  10. Albert Einstein said: ‘We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.’ Help your child to create a plan for the future and to set goals to mark the steps along the way.

The post exam period can be a difficult time for all the family but don’t let it cast too big a cloud. Enjoy your summer!

 

 

 

 

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By Penny McCarthy

Penny McCarthy is a seasoned entrepreneur and co-founder of Parents News UK, a pioneering publication launched in 1993 to serve the needs of busy parents in Southwest London. Alongside her husband, Fergus McCarthy, Penny played a crucial role in the rapid expansion of the printed edition, which grew from a local startup to a widely circulated monthly publication with a reach of 192,000 copies across Kent, South London, and beyond. Under Penny’s leadership, Parents News quickly became a trusted resource for families, providing valuable information on education, entertainment, sports, and family-friendly events. Her vision helped the publication extend its influence with franchises in Northern Ireland and Cornwall, catering to a growing demand for accessible, family-oriented content. In 1997, recognising the importance of digital media, Penny spearheaded the launch of Parents News UK Online. The website initially mirrored the content of the printed editions and has since evolved into a comprehensive online resource for parents, achieving significant popularity with up to 700 daily hits. In 2017, the publication transitioned fully to an online platform, continuing to inform and engage families across the UK. Today, Penny remains deeply involved in the ongoing success of Parents News UK, focusing on innovative advertising opportunities and future growth plans. Her dedication to supporting families through accessible and practical content has made Parents News a cherished name in households across the country.

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