Helicopter parenting: are our kids growing up too fast?

Oxford neuroscientist on helicopter parenting and letting kids be kids

The growing trend of helicopter parenting may be pushing children to mature too quickly, warns Dr Huriye Atilgan, an Oxford University neuroscientist and founder of TAK Index. She highlights the importance of unstructured play in fostering healthy brain development and emotional resilience.

The neuroscience behind play

Dr Atilgan explains that play is essential for children’s brain development.

“Play stimulates neural pathways and improves cognitive abilities like problem-solving, memory, and creativity,” she says. “It also helps children build emotional resilience and social understanding.”

She emphasises the need for diverse types of play, including:

• Constructive play: Develops fine motor skills and spatial awareness.
• Imaginative play: Enhances creativity and empathy.
• Physical play: Promotes physical health and coordination.
• Social play: Builds communication skills and understanding of social norms.
• Solitary play: Encourages self-reliance and introspection.
• Digital play: Improves cognitive skills like memory and problem-solving when balanced with other forms of play.

Combatting screen time

Excessive screen time has reduced physical activity and face-to-face interactions.

“This can hinder the development of social and emotional skills, resilience, and the ability to form meaningful relationships,” warns Dr Atilgan.

To counteract this, she advises parents to prioritise outdoor activities and limit screen time to ensure children develop essential life skills.

The impact of helicopter parenting

Helicopter parenting often results in overscheduled children who lack opportunities for unstructured play.

“Overscheduling denies children the chance to make independent decisions and explore freely,” Dr Atilgan explains. “This, combined with societal pressures and technology, contributes to children ‘growing up too fast.’”

Reclaiming childhood from helicopter parenting

Dr Atilgan suggests simple steps for parents to encourage unstructured play:

• Dedicate time for free activities.
• Visit parks and natural spaces.
• Provide a variety of play materials.
• Avoid imposing strict rules during playtime.

This balance helps children grow into resilient, well-rounded individuals.

Managing digital exposure

While technology can accelerate exposure to adult concepts, it can also support development when managed responsibly.

“Set boundaries, choose age-appropriate content, and ensure screen time doesn’t replace physical activities,” advises Dr Atilgan.

What does maturation really mean?

Dr Atilgan also notes that adult-like behaviour doesn’t necessarily equate to maturity.

“Access to information may make children appear more mature, but true maturation is unique to each individual,” she says.

Parents should focus on nurturing their child’s natural growth and providing opportunities for free play.

If you're thinking of buying something recommended by us, please go via the links on our pages. When you do this we may earn a fee which supports our editorially independent, family business.