by Heidi Skudder, Parent Coach and Sleep Consultant
Speaking from both personal experience as well as having helped many clients through this transition, I can whole heartedly say that having two under two, whilst challenging and full on at times, really is magical – The way in which your eldest looks at the baby, when the baby starts to smile and grin at their sibling, months in. There is so much to look forward to, but as ever, the success comes from the preparation put in place before the event.
Having two under two, means you are pregnant whilst still looking after another baby – so you already deserve a medal for doing two amazing things all at the same time. Whilst you think your first born might not be fully able to understand the transition just yet, there are still ways of preparing them, so that when baby arrives, it goes as smoothly as possible.
- Bring out the baby equipment in advance of the actual birth. Toddlers are notoriously curious about new things, and love to play, climb and create chaos. Having the moses basket, bouncer or pram around a little earlier than baby’s arrival means you can show them how things work, what they are not to do (e.g. climb in or pull it over) and creates less change when baby actually comes along.
- Read stories or watch episodes that role model the transition – Peppa pig comes to mind, but lots of shows have “new baby” related episodes. There are also many great books including “There’s a House Inside my Mummy” and “Pirate Pete’s Baby Sister”. Reading about the journey you’ll be going on together, does help normalise it.
- Talk about the baby in your everyday life. Whilst they may not fully understand the concept of baby’s arrival, you can start to mention the baby. E.G. “what do you think the baby will like for breakfast?”, again, normalising that there will be a baby around, so it is less of a surprise when it actually happens.
- Role play is always brilliant and having a doll around to show the baby how you might handle them, is never a bad idea. Modelling gentle hands and even playing some baby cries on Spotify/You tube is not a bad idea (also works wonders with pets too!).
Whilst we want to prepare your toddler as much as possible, the reality of two under two is that there is only so much prep you can do with them, given their limited understanding. In my experience, two under two is physically challenging but emotionally, often toddlers adapt pretty smoothly given their age.
It is also important to think about yourself too. Having two little people relying on you can be overwhelming at the best of times, and one baby is very different to having two – whilst your love can multiply, the number of hands you have will not! Here are some tried and tested ways to help balance the juggle of two under two:
- Have a “feeding” activity planned and ready for your toddler – something high value, that they only get to play with when you feed. It can be a screen, but it could also be a game they love or a special toy/playdough etc. Choosing something that grabs their attention, takes their attention away from you being busy and “tied” up. A special feeding basket is a lovely addition and can help reduce the pressure when they feel as though they’re not centre of attention.
- Consider where you can have additional support in the early months. This might look like a family member coming once a week to help lighten the load, meal delivery services or even a cleaner or additional paid help if an option. Never feel bad about outsourcing – you cannot do everything!
- Be ok with it taking double the time to leave the house and invite others to come and see you so that your toddler has company whilst you sit with baby and do what you need to do. Learning to get out of the house with two under two is an art, so using your home as a base for playdates and meet ups initially is never a bad idea.
For more tips, Heidi has a “Preparing for your second baby” course that you can purchase for only £24 online at PositivelyParenthood.com
Credit: Heidi Skudder, Parent Coach and Sleep Consultant and Founder of Positively Parenthood is an expert speaker at The Baby Show which returns to Excel London from 6th – 8th March 2026. To find out more, please visit www.thebabyshow.co.uk/excel